Tuesday, October 31, 2006

the day she left

It's been 9 years since we met. Turns out it's been 5 years since I last saw Laeti, not 4 like I originally thought. Have my feelings changed? Nope. I know she's with Eric; he's a great guy. I only wish I had a friend like him in the States. He's one of those guys I could go climbing with, kayaking with, skydiving with... play soccer with, etc., but it still kinda hurts that it's not me she's with.

Talking to Bobby tonight, I happened to say that maybe I should have moved to France. He pointed out that "should haves" aren't worth thinking about, and I think he's right. It's still hard to turn my thoughts when they drift that way.

If there really is only one person out there for me, one soulmate, at least I know who she is. If there's more than one, then at least I know what to look for.

It was a good week, but very trying toward the end. I thought I was handling it pretty well, until yesterday. I could feel something bubbling up, so I isolated myself for a while. The last thing I wanted to do was be upset around her, since she didn't deserve it. She saw through it though. Of course she did... she knows me all too well.

I didn't even know how badly I needed to see her until she was gone. Figures...

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